Re: [A/S] Re:traditions (was berets)

[j.dandrea@xxxxxxxxxxx]

Hello.

I am considering the pros and cons of joining the WWBCI.  One of the 
things that drew me to the club was the beret.  I think they are sorrta 
keen.  I have no idea how I would look in one  but that is another thing 
all together.  I agreed with the fellow who said men look better in some 
styles than women and vice-a-versa.  High crown ball caps, for example, 
are more attractive (IMHO) on men. Quite often hats look better on guys 
because they don't have as much hair to deal with and aren't faced with  
"hat hair" when they take it off.  

That said I would like to draw an analogy to the folks who attend the  
Highland Games. These folks don kilts and tams with all the regalia of 
the  Clans and have a terrific time.  The public is invited to attend 
and most find the allure of the "gear" hard to resist.  Most leave the 
games with a momento of their  Scottish heritage.  While kilts are way 
too expensive, simple Scotland pins are not.  My point is part of the 
fun is participating in the community.

Community, desired by most, seems to be a dying in American Culture.  
What I am most attracted to in the WWBCI is the promise of Community on 
the road.  Any community is going to have it's ups and downs because it 
inevitably reflects the larger American Culture. We can expect to see 
snobs and common folk, nice people and pills.  Hopefully the nice people 
outnumber the poopers.  The problem is we often remember the snobs and 
forget the nice people.  Our egos are fragile and don't take assails 
from oldsters who remind us of critical parents very well. 
Identification as part of the community is part of the fun.  I queried 
in jest earlier, "How about on a Stetson."  I love Stetsons and I wear 
them to western events.  Everyone at a Rodeo is wearing a Stetson.  
Americans love outfits that identify us as members of a community. The 
latest Red hat clubs are a good example.  What started out as a Red Hat 
in the beginning is now a RED HAT ENSEMBLE.  Hat, gloves, dress or 
slacks, scarves, jewelry, shoes and so forth.  It's fun.  

Once the outfit is put on, behavior sometimes changes. As an aside, I 
saw a very interesting program on the History channel recently about 
those who wore various German outfits during WWII.  The speaker said 
many of the people who displayed the most terrible behavior displayed it 
only in the uniform. Once they took the uniform and the cap off they 
went back to behaving in a perfectly acceptable manner.  That reminded 
me of a study done a few years back about kids who wore "colors".  It 
was pretty well documented that their behavior was often bad when they 
wore the colors as though they were living up to something they assumed 
was part of the outfit.

In the case of Air Streamers in berets, one can only hope that the 
behavior change is for the better.  Wearing that hat identifies the 
wearer with the group.  His or her attitude is associated with the 
organization.  That boy who saw beret wearer as a Nazi in a beret must 
have either had an experience himself or have been reflecting his 
father's experiences when camping.  

A uniform carries a responsibility.  It is hard to see a little girl in 
a brownie outfit throwing a tantrum without thinking she really needs 
scouting.  Imagine seeing a teenage boy in an Eagle Scout Uniform 
tripping a little old lady or for that matter an Air Streamer in his or 
her beret crowding in line in the grocery store.  Hummmm.  Just not 
done.  Looking from the outside in,I think anyone in a beret represents
 a whole community.  I hope the group is diverse, open and giving, not 
snobbish, mean-spirited and exclusive.  

As a final personal aside: I have a hot temper and quite often I 
complain and complain, but do nothing about a situation for a long 
time.  I am prone to tell a friend, a perfectly nice person, how 
irritated I am by the behavior of a creep.  I call that dumping.  As I 
have aged, I am better at realizing that my feelings are mine and my 
reactions are not caused by someone else but are responses brought out 
by the personal baggage I carry.  I know I need to talk to the offender 
about how I feel. Anything else is preaching to the saved. If I do, 
providing I hold my temper and approach with tact, I feel better. I make 
sure I have such conversations in a private setting.  I remind myself 
just before the encounter that I may not change their behavior.  
Sometimes the person who is changed is me and I realize that I mis-read 
the situation or misunderstood how the other person feels.   An open 
conversation that starts with a statement of my feelings has resulted 
for me in better relationships in some cases.  In others I left feeling 
only glad I had said what I said with the hope the other person thinks 
about it in the dead of night.  :-)
  
Joan