[A/S] Some Days you Should Stay in Bed!

[hhamp5246@xxxxxxx]

Hi Gang,

My friend John, who lives in Florida, just sent me this. I immediately got 
permission to post it on the list.....  howled when I read it......

<<Hi Hunter....
I was able to move my neat old Airstream "A Van" I found into a storage
yard and gave it a good looking over.  It's the "little" all aluminum 21
foot A-Van with a dual wheeled 7:50x16 axle and a GMC 350 V8 and
automatic transmission.

.... a perfect towing vehicle with a hauling place for motorcycles in
the rear or little race hydros or antique "stuff", etc....... a very
nice classic Airstream project......

..... so, with that moved, I then ventured to move my classic 1967 28
foot Airstream Ambassador Land Yacht into the same yard for restoration.
This old gal is very pretty, but needs some work..... more than I had
originally thought before I bought it.....

I went to hook up the lights..... antique 7 pole plug and wiring.....
and it has newer tail lights with no color coding...... I ended up with
a "light show"  when I used the brakes while working on a sweltering
asphalt parking lot at 100+ degrees.

.... so I ended up mounting my trusty magnetic U-Haul tail light kit and
decided to tackle the Airstream's crossed light wiring later when the
temperature cooled down some to maybe just 95 degrees in the shade......
ah, Florida Summers....  :-(

.....I then go to use the electric Airstream jack and it was just
uttering a faint "moan" and became useless.... I noticed that the
original castor wheel was also missing, thanks to some "sticky fingers"
in the area....

..... on went the license plate from a boat trailer... we were getting
close.

...... we used an old cranky British MG car jack and set it up on my
friend's 4WD "Jimmy" for the easy haul.... after we made tail light wire
hangers out of duct tape... (what else?) and stuck them on the side of
the Airstream...... all's well and we were off.

.......the Airstream was riding fine down the road with me following
behind for "security"...... when all of a sudden, "whooosssh"!!.... a
dark cloud or "shower" of old wet leaves, pieces of insulation, some
"rusted" metal, dead cockroaches, sand, etc., exploded in front of me
with an awful metal scraping sound!

.....my friend, Don, slowed down to a stop and pointed into his side
mirror that he thought something was wrong.  I yelled at him to keep
going and to stop at the ACE Hardware about a mile up the road

.....the entire rear aluminum belly pan had come lose from the rear row
of pop rivets, including the sewer hook-up door and was dragging down
the road with a horrible noise like dragging a dozen garbage can lids
down the road.... very loud!

...... in my sick sort of way, I enjoyed it as every time the Airstream
passed someone on the sidewalk or next to a stopped car, the people
would jump out of their skins and make funny twisted faces in surprise
as it sounded like a car ready to hit them or something.....

.......Don made the tight corner with just a little "hop" up the
curb....... and a nice roll of "baling" wire from ACE hardware had the
dragging aluminum Airstream belly up off the ground in about 30 minutes.

..... I then parked my car at a 7-11 close to his home so I could ride
with him and we proceeded down the road to the next intersection........
no sweat!!

......... Don made a nice wider turn this time and started going faster
with confidence in this great old Airstream....... then "Whooooppp"!!!
the Airstream awning opened up like the trailer was a landing Space
Shuttle deploying the huge drag parachute.

....... the air caught it just right and partially ripped the frame off
the trailer as Don pulled to a stop still on the road so we didn't take
out street signs on the side of the road.  

We had double checked the awning frame locks and pulled on them both,
but they were not properly locked as it had "appeared".  Then it would
not dismantle properly as we unbolted it from the trailer.

.......... two Sheriff's cruisers pulled up at either end of the trailer
with their red and blue lights flashing..... it looked like an Airstream
drug bust going down.  Don and I are working on our hands and knees with
a cop standing over us.  

People stopped on bicycles, "lookie-loos" all over passing us all very
slowly .... all I needed was a K9 police dog to take a leak on my
shoe.....

.......well, Airstream awnings don't fit "into" an Airstream.  So, we
stuck it in as far as it would go and left the end sticking out of the
open side door that was held to the handhold on the trailer with two
wire clothes hangers I found in the closet.  

One Deputy ordered us to get something red to hang on the broken awning
frame "before" we would be "allowed" to continue........ (Hmmmmm, I felt
like using a bloody "red" deputy's uniform!)  

.......Thank goodness the old owner had left a kid's red shirt and we
wired it on the awning frame to the Sheriff's approval.  We received an
official "escort " to the main highway.......
the two wire hangers held.

........ as our luck would have it, we had no spare tire as these four
tires appeared quite new with all of the little rubber "thingys" (I
can't say "tits") from the mold on all four Goodyear
(7:00x15) tires... so they looked new or never used with no weathering
cracks either.....

.......... no matter, along with a little rock and roll swaying down the
road at about 40 mph ... down goes a tire, (not a blowout) just nice and
flat........ Stop??  Hell no!!  We have to make a run for it before
another cop stops us...... this time, for good!!

......... we think we hear a muffled "bang".... naw, the trailer is
still behind us OK..... off the main road after 25 miles onto a feeder
road and into the RV and boat storage yard next to the Airstream A-Van.

......... we carefully guide the trailer into the lot to keep the long
protruding awning frame away from a close and nasty oak tree trunk and
we notice that the rear window curtains are flapping in the breeze....
that's odd, the window was closed and locked.....the complete rear
window frame was still there, but.... no window.... oooops!

...... no window?  ......... what luck!!  Out comes the broken awning
frame and torn awning and we shove it into the flapping curtains and
onto the carpet floor of the trailer.  The side door is slammed shut,
locked... unhitch this baby on a big cinder block, the magnetic light
kit is removed and we double check "everything".....

...... Don's a retired U.S. Navy Captain and I'm a high time ex-pilot,
so we compliment each other that all is in order...... the new and very
flat tire is given a quick kick of disgust and we drive away.......
about 4 miles....

........not so fast  ... I now have to advise Don that we have to turn
back...... his classic boat trailer license plate is still on the
Airstream..... @*#%*#@!!

.......... so after a quick call to his wife with a tall tale why he'll
be a couple of hours late for dinner..... we wonder if this idea of a
classic Airstream trailer being pulled by a classic  Airstream A-Van
boils down to the obvious question....... "To Airstream or Not to
Airstream"........  Well, Hunter, What say ye??  

(.....at least we didn't run into a hail storm!!) 
John>>

Is that too funny?

Hunter